


heart to heart

by bluepaladiin



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: 5+1, Bilingual Lance (Voltron), Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I don't know what I'm doing here, M/M, Oblivious Keith (Voltron), Pre-Relationship, it's like a skype au but in SPACE, just a lot of talking between them, keith is there to make sure that Stops, lance is worried about his place on the team again, mostly - Freeform, takes place at the beginning of season 4 on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-07-18 12:00:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16118012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluepaladiin/pseuds/bluepaladiin
Summary: Ever since Keith left to join the Blade of Marmora, Lance may or may not have realized how much he really enjoyed his presence. Keith said he could call if there was something wrong, but now he just has to make sure that he doesn't get Keith in trouble for using Blade technology so casually.(Or, Lance and Keith miss each other. And that definitely qualifies as an emergency)





	1. Chapter 1

_It’s only for emergencies. Please don’t use it too much, or Kolivan is gonna get mad and take it away from me._

Lance stared at the communication device resting on Red's control panel. It was about the size of his hand, with a screen taking up about half of the space and a couple of tuning dials lined up on the bottom. Keith had given to him right before taking off to go to the Blade, handing over his Bayard and the device in his typical, as-awkward-as-possible fashion.

He had surprised Lance even more by suddenly wrapping his arms around neck, hugging Lance so tight that he thought he would burst. Lance wasn't able to do anything for a few seconds except stand there like an idiot until he managed to collect himself and hug Keith in return, using all his willpower not to run his hand through Keith's stupid hair.

"I'm gonna miss your mullet, Keith," he had said, trying to hide the smile in his voice. "Maybe even more than I'm gonna miss you."

"Oh yeah?" he challenged, untangling himself out of Lance's long arms as he moved to cross his arms over his chest. "Give me back that device then, you little shit."

Lance then proceeded to hold the device tauntingly over Keith's head, laughing as the shorter boy tried to grab at it in frustration. Keith had punched him in the arm after he realized there was no way he was going to get it back from Lance, a sly grin creeping across his face as Lance dramatically collapsed to the ground. Neither one of them could say anything after that, other than a measly goodbye, but the looks of longing left of their faces said the things that they were too afraid to.

_I'm going to miss this more than you know._

~~_I'm going to miss_ **_you_ ** _more than you know._~~

And then Keith was gone, leaving Lance more confused than he had ever been in his life.

He had thought that everything was going to be okay, but when there were only seven people on a giant weaponized castle floating around the depths of space (eight if you counted Matt), losing one person hurt a lot more than he really thought it would.

Every since they had rescued Matt, Pidge had stopped spending time with Lance. Pidge had taken the old gaming system out of his room one day while Lance was training (even though he had been the one to find most of the money for it), hiding it away in her mess of a room for her to play with Matt. Every time Lance walked into Pidge's workroom in the dead of the Castle's artificial night, on his way to tell the little gremlin that she needed to take care of herself, Matt was already there, carrying her back to her room.

Even Hunk had started spending more time with the siblings, talking about all this technological stuff that Lance didn't particularly want to bother with. The three were geniuses on their own, and when they all worked together, they sounded like excerpts out of a textbook. It was hard for Lance's brain to keep up with the ridiculous speed they were speaking at, and after a while, they just stopped trying to fill in the blanks that Lance would ask them about. Lance eventually just gave up on trying to work with them; him getting flat-out ignored while being with them only fueled the negative thoughts floating around his mind.

He had tried spending time with Coran too, cleaning out the cryo-pods with the man as he told him stories of Altea, stories about his family and the adventures that the old paladins used to go on. Lance could see the longing in Coran's eyes after a while, and since he didn't want the older man to get upset, he limited himself to only an hour each day.

Lance's relationship, if you could even call it that, with Allura had always been kind of rocky, but ever since she became Blue's paladin, the two had grown closer. Allura treated Lance like the brother she never had, always telling him that she was proud of his accomplishments as a paladin. The two often meditated together, trying to strengthen their new bonds with their new lions. Lance once tried to help Allura out by telling her Blue’s favorite pick-up lines, the ones that used to make her send waves of happiness through their bond, but it only ended up in an absolutely terrible impression of Lance by Allura, and the two had spent ten minutes trying to calm themselves out of a laughing fit.

But now that Shiro was back as leader, Allura had to get him caught-up with all of their successes and failures, and that meant the two were doing "leaderly things" with each other and needed all other paladins out of it

Lance didn't bother trying to spend time with Shiro after he came back. The black paladin became a lot angrier with the team, specifically Lance, after his second round with the Galra. But in all honestly, Lance couldn't bring himself to blame him. Shiro already had enough trauma for a lifetime, and it wasn't like Lance was going to piss Shiro off just to have someone to spend time with.

So, in true Red Paladin fashion, Lance started spending a lot of time on the training deck. He was in there are at least two hours of every day, working on his aim and his hand to hand combat. He spent a lot of time in Red's hangar too, trying to bond with the temperamental lion, and though the two weren't as close as he and Blue were, they were slowly getting there.

And now, a month later, that put him in his current position: sitting in Red's cockpit, trying to muster up the courage to _just fucking call Keith_.

He knew deep down that there was no way to twist this situation into an emergency, but his dumb stupid heart was telling him that _it was_ , and that he needed to call Keith. Lance flipped the device over, looking at the configurations that would match his communicator up with Keith's, and not some other random Marmoran, and punched them into the contraption. Keith had joked that Lance would somehow mess it up and end up calling Kolivan, and knowing his luck, that was definitely a real possibility.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he clicked the call button on the side, listening as the communicator shrilled monotone beeps at him, the sound echoing throughout the empty cockpit. He sat there anxiously, bouncing his leg up and down rapidly as he waited for Keith to pick up. What if this was the wrong configuration? What if Keith didn't want to talk to him? What if Keith was on a mission and Lance just blew his cover and-

"Lance?"

Lance's heart stopped pounding in his chest at the sound of Keith's voice.

"Keith!" Lance exclaimed, flailing his arms around as he tried to grab the communicator and line it up with his face. Keith was wearing the weird, glowy outfit that the rest of the Blade wore, the hood pulled up over his head as he twirled his blade around in his hand. Lance always thought that red was Keith's color, given his red jacket and being the -ex-paladin of the Red Lion, but the dark blue of the Blade uniform paired well with him.

"Lance," Keith sighed, setting down his knife as he rested his chin in his hands. "I told you this is for emergencies only, and this definitely doesn't look like an emergency!"

Lance put his hand to his chest in mock offense, pointing his chin high up into the air as he turned away from the camera. "Maybe it is an emergency! Maybe I lost one of my legs, and everyone else is unconscious, and you're the only one who can help me!"

Keith glared at Lance, trying to stifle a laugh. He wasn't going to admit it any time soon, but he really missed Lance's antics. Everyone at the Blade was stoic, and he was pretty sure that none of them were even capable of smiling (he still hasn't seen Kolivan _blink_ ). "So what's the real reason you called?"

Lance sighed, folding his knees up onto his chair as he wrapped his arms around them. "I just.. wanted to talk to you, I guess," he mumbled, trying to avoid looking at the camera. "We found Matt, and I'm really happy for Pidge and everything, but everyone's just kind of drifting into their own groups now, and there isn't anywhere left for me to go."

"Really?" Keith questioned. "Why aren't you hanging out with Hunk, or flirting Allura's pointy ears off?" He laughed at his jokes, remembering how Allura had one threatened Lance by saying she would roundhouse kick him -or whatever the Altean version of a roundhouse kick is- if he so much as dared to try and use another space-themed pickup line on her. She had told Keith and Shiro later on that she actually quite enjoyed them (contrary to their belief), because she was able to learn more about what Earthlings did in their courting rituals. Shiro and Keith had laughed at that, saying that pickup lines were usually unsuccessful, and Allura had laughed right along with them.

Lance grew nearly as red as his lion, looking down at the floor unresponsively. He had been running his thumbs up and down his arm absentmindedly, as he always did, but Keith noticed that he was pressing down harder now, digging into the fabric of his jacket hard enough to turn it white with stress. "Hey, Lance," he murmured softly, trying to catch the boys attention. Lance still looked at the ground, trying to hide the emotion building up in his face. "Lance. Look at me."

Lance peered up at Keith, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. It took Keith back to when Lance had come to Keith worrying about his place on the team, trying to hide his shaking hands and shaking voice when he was counting off the members of the team.

"That was a bad joke," he said, looking Lance in the eyes. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine, Keith," Lance replied, voice cracking. "I'm just being stupid-"

"Damn it, Lance!" Keith shouted, watching as Lance nearly flinched out of his seat. "Something's obviously bothering you, and it's not stupid if it's making you want to scratch up your arms like that."

Lance wrapped his arms around his ankles, muttering under his breath. He still wouldn't look Keith directly in the eyes, something that he would do whenever he was anxiety-ridden. Keith could feel something in his chest ache.

"Lance, talk to me," he said, reaching out towards the communicator as if Lance were actually right there in front of him.

"I don't wanna be remembered as just the flirty guy," Lance started, now taking to picking at his cuticles. "I don't just wanna be the guy that's only a replacement. I'm just sick and tired of being everyone's second choice, Keith."

"Lance, you aren't-"

"I am, Keith!" Lance exclaimed, uncurling his body as tears roll down his face. "I was always second to you at the Garrison, I'm Shiro's second choice for a right-hand-man, I'm Pidge's second choice for someone older she can trust, and I'm Hunk's second choice for a friend."

"Lance..."

"Do you know what it's like to be rejected by the lion that chose you, Keith?" Lance shouted, voice breaking. "You got accepted by Black before you even needed to think about losing a lion. Blue just shut me out in the blink of an eye, and she still hasn't said anything to me! Blue wants Allura instead of me, and Red still wants you back, and there’s not gonna be a fucking place for me on this team after you come back and-"

"You're my first choice, Lance," Keith said stoically, staring at the floor so Lance couldn't see the red flush taking over his face. He peered up and watched as Lance paused, lip quivering, trying to gather his thoughts. "I'm glad Red picked you, and even though I can't feel our bond anymore, I know she loves having you as her pilot."

Lance scoffs, rolling his eyes at Keith's statement. "Sure, buddy," he says cynically, looking Keith in the eyes. "We all knew that you wanted to have Shiro helping you out instead of me."

"You and I both know that's not a fair comparison, Lance," he murmured, looking down at his hands. "You're right when you say I want Shiro to help me; I see the guy as the older brother I never had. And just when we got him back, and then he was suddenly gone again. Of course I wanted him back! I thought he was gonna disappear again!"

Keith was yelling now, tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. Not even _Shiro_ knew that he felt the same as he did a year ago, like a child afraid of the endless voids of space, and how it took the one person closest to him. And here he was, revealing all his darkest fears to Lance as if the two weren't at each other's throats less than a month before.

"We were all afraid, Keith," Lance said softly, leaning in closer towards the camera. "I know it's not the same since I haven't known Shiro as long, but losing someone from our group hurt. A lot."

Keith glanced up at Lance, surprised at the direction that this conversation was heading. Here he was, moping around in his own self-pity and fears, when Lance was the one asking him for help in the first place. Lance was wearing the hardened face of a second-in-command, the one he wore with Keith when he was still the leader of Voltron, the one he wore when Keith was snapping at everyone just because they couldn't find a lead on Shiro's whereabouts. Lance knew how to rile people up, that's for sure, but he damn well knew how to bring them back down from their rising emotions, and could soothe all of them into a state where they could finally work as a team again.

It made sense that Lance was both the blue and red paladin, when he really thought about it. He was soothing and balancing, but he still managed to get his team excited and riled up over the most trivial things. Lance truly embodied the heart of Voltron, truly embraced what it meant to be Blue’s former paladin, and Red’s current one.

Keith ripped himself out of his thoughts, eyes drifting up to meet Lance’s through the camera again. “It felt so fucking selfish of me, to act like I was the only one affected by him leaving,” Keith said, running his hand through his hair and playing with the ends. It was getting longer now; the Blade didn’t really have any need to bother with haircuts. “I knew we were all hurting, but I just couldn’t get my own worries out of my head.”

“None of us blame you for that, Keith,” Lance said. “We all know that you two are close. Hell, you two act closer than me and my brother sometimes. I couldn’t imagine what I would do if he just went missing, and I know Pidge was just as scared as you were. We just all have to support each other, and we’ve all known this from the start. It’s literally the seven of us against the whole fucking universe.” Lance’s voice raised at the end of his sentence, his body telling him to laugh as his eyes widened with the implications of his words.

There were times when they all got like this, when they got too deep inside of their own heads. They were four teenagers, a war prisoner, and the last two survivors of a wiped-out race fighting against some of the most diabolical beings in existence. There wasn’t any training in the Garrison on the trauma of war, and what having to kill to survive does to your mind.

They all knew the walls between their rooms weren’t soundproof. Keith would sometimes sit awake late at night, unable to bring his racing thoughts to a halt for even a minute, and listened as Shiro woke up from nightmares screaming until his throat was raw, cursing his Galran arm as he tried to pry the thing off of his body. He would hear Pidge typing away into the night, even after she promised Lance that she’d go to bed, trying to get any information on the whereabouts of her family. He would listen as Hunk cried and sobbed, trying to convince himself that he wasn’t a bad person because he killed a Galra soldier that was trying to kill Pidge.

He listened as Lance spoke Spanish into the night, trying to make sure he didn’t forget anything about his family. He remembered late one night, when he faltered on a sentence, and he broke down not even a minute later. He pounded at the wall until he broke the skin of his hands (Keith knew, he checked them the next morning), crying until he couldn’t breathe, just so he could remember his native language.

He remembered the first time Lance had to kill someone while face-to-face with them. Lance said he had the beautiful curse of being able to be out of the heat of battle, away from the thoughts that would plague his minds if he had to stare someone in the eyes as the life drained out of them. He told Keith in the late of night, after a rough battle that left both of them unable to sleep, that he had a laser that he would keep with him in his secluded sniping area, and every time that he shot a bullet through someone’s skull, he would burn a line into his gun.

He was beginning to run out of space for it.

That first time he truly killed someone had been terrifying for all of them. Somehow, one of the Galra had found out Lance’s location. Keith doesn’t remember much besides Lance’s sudden screams of pain, and then someone further in the distance choking on their own blood, as if their throat had been sliced open. Lance had thrown up a little bit later, both from the pain of his injuries, and the fact that he had just slit someone's throat. The Galra had broken Lance’s legs before he tried to actually kill him, but Lance had been so high on adrenaline in that moment that he really hadn’t noticed until later.

Keith had never been more thankful that he had found a spare dagger for Lance, and had trained him how to use it.

Lance didn’t sleep for three days. Keith would wake up to the sound of Lance sobbing, screaming into a pillow after he drew himself out of flashbacks. He had to go and be with Hunk, curled up against his massive frame, tears rolling down both of their faces as they desperately tried to sleep.

Keith snapped his fingers loudly, drawing himself and Lance out of their minds before anything got worse. He knew how easy it was, to get completely spiraled in his own thoughts. He felt guilt run through his veins as Lance flinched, hands jolting up defensively.

“Sorry for scaring you, Sharpshooter,” Keith said, watching as Lance smiled with the use of his nickname. “Don’t want you going too far down the rabbit-hole.”

“Who, me?” Lance feigned, laughing into the camera. “My brain’s even tougher than yours, Samurai.”

The two laughed, something that they hadn’t truly done in a while. It felt nice, finally being able to get out all of the emotion pent up inside of them, finally able to just relax in each others presence. Lance’s face was tinged with red, and he rested his chin in his hands, smiling as he looked at Keith again.

“I’m glad I called you, Keith,” he said, voice strong with sincerity. “This was… nice.”

“I’m glad I answered,” Keith replied, stretching his arms high over his head. “I didn’t realize how much I’d miss talking with you.” He felt his face burn hot, and watched as Lance’s did the same, making the boy duck his face into his hands.

“You don’t just _say_ things like that out of nowhere, Keith!” Lance exclaimed, laying sideways in his chair. “Think about my dumb emotions! I can’t handle kindness from you!”

Keith laughed at Lance’s antics, trying to make his face not look like the color of his old jacket. It was hard though, especially when Lance peered at Keith through his fingers, acting like a child.

Suddenly, the lights in Keith’s room began to pulse red, and the emergency light on his communicator began flashing. “Shit, Lance,” Keith yelled, rising to his feet fast enough to make his vision blur. “I’ve got a mission, I gotta go now.”

Lance nodded, eyes wide as he grabbed the communicator off of the dashboard. The camera got extremely close to Lance’s face then, and Keith could see the sincerity in his eyes before he even said anything.

“Be safe, Keith,” he whispered, tilting his head to the side. “And come home soon. We all miss you.”

Keith nodded vigorously, watching as Lance smiled softly from his response. “I’ll be home as soon as I can,” he said. “Bye, Lance.”

Keith hung up then, turning around and racing towards the door, communicator clutched tightly in his hand. He stored it in the little pouch on his bodysuit and grabbed the knife that rested on his bed, throwing his Blade mask on as he stumbled out into the hallway.

And just as quickly as he had come, Keith had left again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what season 5 should have started out with

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol my bad in advance

Keith didn’t want to answer his communicator. He already knew why Lance was calling.

(And yes, he had set a specific ringtone for Lance.)

He knew that _someone_ had been watching when he made the decision to sacrifice himself for the sake of the battle. He thought he lucked out, believing that his suicidal idea to save them all was done in a short enough time that no one had really even noticed. He should’ve known that someone would see him. He should've known that it would be no one other than _Lance_.

He knew, deep down, that Lance had the eyes of a hawk when it came to the battlefield. He saw every little detail, being a sniper and all, and had a gut intuition that sometimes led Keith to believe that he was psychic. Lance was an incredibly gifted tactician and strategist; he had once told Keith that it was what got him a full-ride scholarship at the Garrison. He just got too caught up in his own head sometimes, and he had trouble trying to put his thoughts into words, especially words in a language he learned less than five years ago.

When Keith had heard Lance speaking to Blue in spanish for the first time, he had asked him dumbly how long he had known Spanish, and Lance had laughed straight in his face, clutching at his stomach as he doubled over. He still swore to this day that even Blue was laughing at him. Lance had then told him that Spanish was his first language, and he only learned English to get into the Garrison. It was why he still slipped up on words, like when he accidentally said “plus” instead of “times” that first day in the castleship.

On another one of their late night talking sessions, Lance had told Keith, face red with shame, that he had spent a lot of his time trying to learn how to hide his accent. He didn’t want to walk into a new place, a new _country_ practically, with something other kids could make fun of him for. He remembers as Lance sat there, fists shaking with anxiety and anger, telling Keith about how the kids back in Cuba would mock him for being too loud, too energetic, too in-your-face to deal with all the time.

Keith understood where he was coming from, in a way. It wasn’t discrimination from blatant racism that Keith had to deal with at that age, but rather the fact that Keith was very face-value with the way he spoke. He knew he didn’t process other people’s emotions very well, and he knew he was quick to anger, especially when he was younger. The other kids were cruel, especially when Keith began to succeed as a pilot, especially when Shiro took him under his wing and became like a brother figure to him.

Keith drew himself back out of his own memories, listening as Lance’s ringtone drawled out in the background, occupying the emptiness of his room. Keith wasn’t one to usually keep a lot of things with him; he never really had anything worth holding on to besides his knife. He had a couple of souvenirs from the planets they had liberated, but nothing that really had a deeper meaning.

The Blade didn’t really believe in personalization, if he was putting it bluntly. Their sleeping quarters were the size of Red’s cockpit, and were painted a monotone grey. They weren’t allowed to change the room or keep any personal items; the Blade lost too many members at too high of a rate, and they didn’t have the time to clean out someone’s quarters when they didn’t make it back from a mission.

Just like how they wouldn’t have had to clean out Keith’s if his plan had gone through.

If he was being completely honest with himself, he had no idea how the shield collapsed. He just remembered a big flash of light, and then suddenly, he was speeding straight through where the shield used to be. He had turned right around and flown back to the group of Blades, and continued on with the rest of their mission, feeling as if there were eyes staring straight into the back of his head with every move he made.

He should’ve known that it was Lance. He should've known.

Hell, part of him thinks that he still has a sliver of a bond with Red, and that his old lion _knew_ just exactly what was going on inside of his head, and told Lance as he charged headfirst into his impending death.

He bit at his fingernails, chewing until his fingers burned and bled, too anxious to even consider the idea of picking up. He knew that Lance would just keep calling until he did, and he would probably keep it up for days if he really needed to. It was like when Shiro first went missing, and Keith would continuously open up the door to his room, waiting to see if he would just come out of his hiding place and let everything go back to normal.

He just wanted to make sure he was okay. That he was _alive_.

“Fuck, okay,” Keith murmured, grabbing at the communicator on his bed. “Let’s just get this over with.” He clicked at the answer button on the device, and watched as the screen loaded Lance’s face, the screen fuzzy from the distance between them.

Keith blinked dumbly in shock.

Lance was crying.

It wasn’t anything like the trickle of tears that came with the first time that they called. No, these were tears of anger, tears that didn’t match the stone-hard look on Lance’s face, puffy-red eyes that couldn’t quite hide the storm brewing beneath them. His jaw was set, teeth clenched so hard that he was certain Lance would just shatter them, and his nostrils flared in anger with every breath he took.

He was still in the cockpit of the red lion, and based on the scuffs of his armor and the sweat beading at his forehead, Lance probably called Keith as soon as they got back to the Castle. The Blade had left a little bit before hand, wanting to escape as quickly as possible to avoid their members getting captured by the Empire.

Keith looked at Lance again, looking at his arms folded tight across his chest, looking at the gashes in the armor that only meant Lance was injured. Keith looked down at the ground of his quarters in shame. bracing his hands on his knees as his shoulders rode up towards his ears. His face was growing hot with embarrassment; it felt like the times when Shiro would lecture him for getting in petty fights with the other garrison students. He took a deep breath, trying to gather the millions of thoughts racing around his head.

~~**_I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that, I’m sorry, Please forgive me, I’m sorry_ ** ~~

“Lance, listen-”

“No, you listen, Kogane,” Lance snarled. He only used Keith’s last name when he was incredibly pissed off at him, opting for “mullet”, “samurai”, or even “red” on a few occasions whenever he referred to Keith. Kogane wasn’t something that Keith had heard since they had first arrived on Arus all that time ago, and Keith had only heard Lance use it once after that.

Keith gulped, putting his hands up towards his chest in a show of surrender. He glanced back at Lance, but veered his eyes away from the daggers the other boy was glaring at him. “I can explain, Lance, I-I just-”

“You can explain what, Keith?” Lance growled out, refusing to look Keith in the eyes. “You wanna explain how you nearly _killed yourself_ just so we could get past a stupid fucking shield?”

Keith could feel the anger of Lance’s worlds lashing out at him, reaching across the screen and coiling around his neck, tightening like a noose. He knew there was no way for him to talk himself out of this one, not when Lance was already this angry. Lance didn’t do angry. He did petty, and he did teasing that sometimes hit a little too close to home, but he _never_ got anywhere close to angry.

Seeing him like this was like a slap to the face, even more so because it was Keith’s doing.

“You’re so fucking stupid, Keith,” Lance said, running his hand through his hair. Keith could see the massive tremors in his body, and he didn’t quite know if it was because of anger or anxiousness. “Why do you think that your life mattered less than that mission? Why?”

Keith just sat there, looking down at the ground, refusing to look at Lance as he lectured him. Out of the heat of battle, he realizes how completely idiotic his idea was, but it wasn’t as if he could say that to Lance now. The likelihood of the explosion of a single ship breaking the shield was slim-to-none; he would’ve just blown himself up for show, and left everyone closest to him wondering why he couldn’t stop being reckless, stop showing off, **_~~stop trying to be the hero-~~_**

Keith snapped himself back out of his own head, mind racing with unsaid nerves and anxiousness. He gripped at the fabric of his uniform, trying to find something that could ground him, trying not to add to the mess that he and Lance were right now.

“Well?” Lance yelled, startling Keith even more. “Why, Keith? Why did you think it?”

“I-I don’t know, Lance,” Keith said, voice wavering with nervousness. “I just thought it would help you guys out and...and I-”

“You being dead does nothing, Keith! Don’t you understand?” Lance yelled, tears running down his face again. His voice kept breaking at the ends of his sentences, breaths interrupting him mid-word. “What will it take to get through that thick head of yours?”

“Lance, I know I fucked up,” Keith said hesitantly, hearing his voice clip at the end of his sentence. He raised his arms up once again, feeling something stirring in his gut, something he placed as the nasty, childish anger that only felt reminiscent of his times back at the Garrison. “I get it, so can you just calm down-”

“I’m not gonna calm down!” Lance yelled, shooting up out of his seat. Keith looked down at Lance’s hands, watching as his nails dug into his skin so tight that he thought it would bleed. He could feel himself doing the same, nails bending under the stress and pent-up frustration. “I know you’re reckless, Keith, but I didn’t think it was gonna be like this! Why do you always have to play the hero every goddamn mission!”

Keith took a sharp breath in and closed his eyes, feeling Lance’s jabs at him strike right at his heart. He gritted his teeth, trying to subdue the anger burning in his gut, looking back up at the other boy before trying to continue on. “I didn’t think there were any other options,” he explained, feeling his heart beat faster and faster with every word he spoke. “It’s no different than when you jumped in front of Coran when the crystal exploded, so why are you so pissed off about it?”

Lance barked out a laugh, lazily folding his arms across his chest again. “You think that’s the same?” he questioned, giving Keith look of mockery. “I knew we had healing pods, and I knew I’d be fine because of how far back we were. It’s not like I tried to launch myself at full-speed into a shield that seemed unbreakable!”

Keith didn’t respond, glaring hard at Lance, teeth clenched hard enough to make his jaw ache. “Fine,” he spat out, refusing to break his eye contact with the red paladin. “I’ll admit my idea was dumb, happy now?”

Lance laughed again, a hint of hysteria peeking out from his faked joy. He sat back down in his seat, one foot off the ground (like he always did). ”Not really,” he breathed out, throwing “Did you know it was Lotor that broke the shield? Y’know, the same _pendejo_ that tried to kill us at every other turn? Looks like I have to thank him for saving your fucking life, don’t I?”

Keith didn’t know how to respond to that one. Lotor broke the shield? The same Lotor that threatened to kill them multiple times when he was still the black paladin? That Lotor?

“Yes, that Lotor, Keith,” Lance spat out, spinning his seat so that Keith could look at his profile. Keith hadn't known that he said it out loud, and was left sputtering like an idiot at Lance’s words. “He’s with Allura and Shiro right now. Apparently he’s gonna work with us, even after everything he did.”

Keith was speechless. He knew that Lotor was bad news; every fiber of his being was practically screaming at him whenever he was face to face with the Galran prince. And even though his instincts could be off most of the time, Lance’s usually weren’t, and he could tell that he wasn’t happy at all with the situation that Voltron was about to be in.

“And you’re okay with that?” Keith asked bitterly, feeling the nasty tendrils of jealousy wrap around him. He knew there was no reason to be worried about getting replaced; Lotor _had_ just saved Voltrons collective ass, and even though Keith didn’t want to admit it, Lotor was an excellent strategist and fighter. He couldn't blame Allura and Shiro for wanting another person that would help out in their rebellion against the Galra empire.

“Fuck no, I’m not okay with it!” Lance yelled, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation. “That stupid _hijo de puta_ just waltzes in here after doing something good for once because _someone_ just had to go and wish for a death sentence-”

“It was for the mission, Lance!” Keith screamed back, unable to control his growing anger any longer. He stood up from his own chair, listening to the loud _clang_ as it hit the cold metal floor of his room. He felt his control slipping, teeth bared as he looked at a dumbfounded Lance. His words were slipping out, and he could tell that anything that was going to come out of his mouth would only mean disaster for him.

“That’s how it is in the Blade, it’s the mission before the man, and I’m a part of them now! Get _that_ through your thick fucking head, you useless cargo pilot!”

Keith knew he stepped too far over the line before he even ended his sentence.

Lance sat back down into his seat, dumbstruck as Keith’s ugly words settled in his head. His lip began to quiver, and Keith watched as Lance wrapped his arms around his legs. Keith watched as Lance tried to calm his shaking body, watched as Lance’s knuckles turned white. Then Lance looked back up at him, tears streaming down his face just as they were when they first started calling.

These weren’t tears of anger, though. They were tears of sadness.

“You asshole!” Lance screamed, voice thick with emotion as he cried. “Watching y-you try to kill yourself was the most t-terrifying thing I’ve ever seen!”

“Lance, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, I-”

“God forbid I just want to make sure you’re safe and you’re not f-fucking dead in the middle of space, Keith!” Lance buried his head in his hands, continuing to cry loud enough to fill the emptiness of Keith’s room. He looked back up at Keith, the tears in his eyes making his eyes look at blue as his armor. “Don’t you see that being with the Blade is hurting you? You put your life on the line without even h-hesitating!”

“The Blade’s helping me, they’re helping all of us, Lance!” Keith said, trying to calm the other boy down. “All of you would do the same for each other, so why is it any different when I do it?”

Lance laughed half-heartedly, looking up towards the ceiling as tears fell from his sharp jawline into his lap. He shook his head back and forth, biting at his lip so hard Keith thought it would split, and then finally looked back into the camera, hardened eyes seemingly meeting Keith’s own.

“ _Vete a la mierda, mójol_ ,” Lance spat out, slamming his hand down on the power button on his communicator, leaving Keith staring at a blank screen in silence.

Keith grabbed the communicator and threw it at the wall, watched as it simply bounced off of it and landed on the floor beside him. He stomped at the stupid device, engineered so it could only be destroyed by a remote detonator, wishing that he could just feel the metal break underneath his feet. He backed up into the wall, grabbing at his hair as he slid down the cold, metallic surface. He reached up towards his bed, grabbing the stiff pillow that laid neatly on it, and screamed until his throat was raw, angry at Lotor for sneaking into Voltron, angry at Lance for treating him like a child, angry at _himself_ for turning one of the few people who were close to him away.

And for what seemed for the first time in ages, Keith cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> howdy 
> 
> this was a complete PAIN to write i couldn't get the dialogue flowing correctly for a good five days and then my chem and calc classes kicked me in the ass. overall 10/10 great time definitely recommend.
> 
> ANYWAYS thank you to everyone who left kudos and reviewed. reading all your messages made my heart smile i hope your future is good and prosperous and brings great things (also i keep forgetting to reply to these bc i am a Fool i'm not ignoring you)
> 
> also this is now a 5+1 fic buckle up kids

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys! don't mind my poorly written excuse for oblivious fluff (if you can't tell by the flashbacks, i mainly write angst and shit like that). if you enjoyed this, drop a kudos or comment! i have a way to turn this into a 5+1 if i have it in me, but since i'm in college and trying not to die 24/7, i probably won't just freely write again unless more people than Just Me want to read it.
> 
> anyways, thank you for reading! it really means a lot to me, especially as someone who's coming out of a 4-year fanfic writing hiatus :,)


End file.
